I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We are two peas in an std pod
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You can't just leave with hair like that
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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