Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
