I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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