thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
