he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
