i would punch a child for taco bell
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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