your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
