Need sex. Gaining weight.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
