I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
