i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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