Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
