that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
