I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
