it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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