i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
