the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
