Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize