roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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