No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
zippers are such a cool invention
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
