Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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