like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize