just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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