I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize