so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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