He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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