I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
