I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
