Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
