He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
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