All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
