why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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