At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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