i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
