im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
