idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
