you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
