my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize