Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
My cat gives me a boner
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
