I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
