Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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