Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize