Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
