I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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