All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
