hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
