I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
cat food counts as protein by the way
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
