Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
