It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Congratulations! We have a period
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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