:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
