it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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