You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
