Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
