Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
