We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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