Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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