There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
