There is no way he is gay with that hair.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
