i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
