I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
