areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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