dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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