nut hugger
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
