Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
