Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
