Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
