is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
My balls are so social today.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize