they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
