i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
