If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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