i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
