how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
