Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
