he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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