Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I cut my penus on the lid.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
