My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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