it wasn't lemon gatorade
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
