I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
